I am so afraid that my children will want to please me and therefore also not want a relationship with my folks.As a clinical psychologist, Dr Nicole LePera found herself frustrated by the limitations of traditional psychotherapy. I keep a child-appropriate open dialogue with my children about feelings and how we deal with them… but how do I go forward? If I feel I need the space from my parents, but maybe my children want to be with them (which I am okay with)… I guess how do I juggle this? And am I setting a good example for them? Do they understand at this age, or am I just confusing them? How do I explain to my children that I do not love my parents, I do not wish to have a relationship with them, but I am okay with my kids seeing them. If they don’t want to, then I honor their feelings. I see similar patterns of growing up being used on my children by their grandparents. That seemed to work when they were babies, but now my kids don’t care to see them as much anymore. So I made that possible by devoting my life to taking them to their grandparents to form that bonding relationship. So when I had kids, I longed for them to have grandparents. So that meant we had no outside family here. And family growing up meant blood is blood, and that bond ties you forever. Now before I set on my journey to self-awareness I was very much for family. My problem is, I have two children (5 & 7). I just loved the idea of what family meant, and they aren’t in that meaning for me. I am working on forgiveness for them, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I do not love them. However, for me it’s not aligned with my values. I know they will be who they are and will not change, and I’ve excepted it. In my heart, I do believe that for now (and quite possibly forever) I do not wish to have any relationship with my parents. I am having a little bit of a conflict of what to do. I am more at the point of setting boundaries. Though I am not at this point currently with my family. I am currently on episode 12: reconnecting with family after taking space. So thank you to Nicole, Jenna & Lolly: I will be forever grateful. After years of looking to be seen, to be loved, to be heard… It was me who needed to do it for me. Thank you for helping me validate all my feelings, and making me see myself. Turns out it is very much so relatable for me, and has been a very helpful tool in my journey to heal and discover myself again.
I came upon these podcasts through a friend, and had been listening to them out of order to get a feel if it was for me. I am 36 and have been struggling most of my life with what I now know is childhood trauma. Firstly I want to thank you so much for all this beautiful work you have been putting out here.
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